got my first haircut in shanghai. it’s a bit different from what i normally get since i can’t tell him anything except 短一点儿！短一点儿! i first pointed at my head and was like (一样的,可是短一点 – the same but shorter, haha i am absolutely fluent in chinglish)
in any case, i went to a semi-western place to get it cut. it was called ESPRIT Salon, like the clothing store. it was attached to the ESPRIT store actually. i had no idea they had hair cutteries, but maybe it’s just in other countries. there’s this place that’s like 10 rmb next to my apartment but i don’t trust any service that costs less than 2 USD, even if it is china. at least i recognized the ESPRIT brand name. reputable enough for me.
before i went in i figured out how to say haircut in chinese, but there ended up being english on the price list. i saw 200 RMB (about 30 bucks). i was like oh heeell no. there was no way i was going to pay more for something in china than in the US. but then i saw student pricing, 100 RMB, which is pretty much what i pay for in the states but i am more than willing to pay that in china (especially because there’s no tip! hip hip hooray!). i decided to press the play stupid button which is conveniently located in my forefinger so that i can have easy access to it…i’ve had to do this a couple times while i was here (like when homeless people come up to me, although clearly poverty needs no language to communicate so i have no idea what i’m talking about here). anyhow…:
lady at front desk:欢迎光临！(welcome! – every worker in every store in china says this when they see you, when they don’t see you, and every 10 seconds on top of that. for the longest time, i thought they were saying morning morning…even at night time. its pronounced huanyingguanglin. say it really quick a couple times, sounds like morning morning right?)
me: 你。。。好. 一个。。。（turns hand into scissors and pretends to cut hair)。。。理发多少钱?. (hello…how much…is a haircut?)
lady:你是学生吗？ (are you a student?)
me: 学…生？ 啊！ 对对对！ 我是学生！ （stu…dent? ah! yes yes yes i’m a student!)
lady: 有没有学生证？ (do you have your student id card?)
me: (reaches into pockets even though he knows he doesn’t have one)啊！我忘了！下次….可以带吗？ (ah! i forgot it. can i bring it…next time? – while in head, thinks to self, there will be no next time)
lady: (nods head because she doesn’t want to have to deal with me anymore) 好的 – (ok)
maybe i should just bring my ISIC student card around with me just in case i see that lady elsewhere though…
here’s the final result
i’m trying to look like popeye in this picture. yes that’s a map of china in the background.
after the haircut, the guy gave me his card. his english name was Sky. sounds like a las vegas stripper.
i’ve found the playing stupid card really works a lot. when people know you speak english and are learning chinese it helps a lot too because you can’t tell if i’m lying or i just don’ t know how to speak chinese. for example i was in a park studying my textbook, and a homeless painter comes up to me, looks over and asks me in chinese if i’m japanese…and i say no i’m american, so he starts talking to me in english, which is cool i guess. the conversation went kind of something like this…my listening isn’t great, so all i got was the jist of what he was saying, so i’ll write what he said in english…:::dramatization:::
homeless painter: : hey! lets do a language exchange. you come here every sunday and we can help each other with the other person’s language, how does that sound?
me: 什么？ 听不懂（what? i don’t understand)
homeless painter: YOU…teach ME…ENGLISH. I…teach YOU CHINESE
me: 对，我在上海学习汉语。 (right, i’m in shanghai studying chinese)
homeless painter: :::giving up ::: why didn’t your dad teach you chinese when you were young?
me: 他很忙。(he was very busy)
homeless painter: what does he do?
me: 他。。。是。。一个老师 (he’s….a…teacher)
homeless painter: what does he teach?
me: 他。。教。。。(can’t think of anything so i say…)小学。。。 他。。教。。。math (he teaches…elementary school…he teaches…math)
homeless painter: oh! math is good!
i guess being a foreigner is pretty fun sometimes!
